Calling Me? Not Yet!

Very often when you meet new acquaintances, the No.1 question to hit you is “What do you do?” and depending on how or what you answer, they either feel delighted or give you a dismissive smile while forming a quick opinion about you.

The “answer” in this case is what you do to earn your daily bread and the reason why, is because we live in a world where we are defined almost entirely by our work (Is it correct? I don’t agree)

Well, there is nothing wrong with it either. In fact it can be quiet cathartic for people who are happily/gainfully employed. Except the dilemma for people like me is that most of us still don’t know whether what we do = what we are truly meant to do. (I like my job but do I see myself doing it all through my life? Yes.....No....Oh...maybe)

People in this category (including me) can be labelled as people who are still searching or waiting for their “TRUE CALLING” – is it a sign? Is it supposed to be an intuition? Or is it something I like to do but am not 100% sure of? (I don’t know)

My guess is, this so-called “true calling” has evaded me or even if it knocked on my door, by the time I unlocked my mind block, unchained my head from wriggling doubts and finally sprinted towards what I thought was calling out...it grew impatient and turned its back on me. (Alas)

So in short, I think I missed it.

Shouldn’t I have intuited what I should be doing with my life long before I finished my education and took up a job? Because that’s when you actually start chalking out your future and figure what your calling is, isn’t it? Or could the term just be an ILLUSION or an expression that some new-age spiritual leader came up with and now everyone keeps talking about?

Not that I haven’t searched for it.

I’ve dabbled in more than a couple of things – drawing, painting, craft (basically, everything art related), worked with a NGO for under privileged children as a volunteer teacher, worked as an HR intern with a 5-Star hotel, done my bachelors in mass media thinking I would get into advertising, followed by a post graduation where I thought I must give retail a shot or get into Petro because I did my summers in one of the biggest Oil & Gas company and envied the wonderful PSU work (leisure) culture. And as of today, I work in the broadcast industry. Did I find my calling? I am not sure.

May be thinking about a fulfilling vocation has its own issues. Concerns about money, savings and security have curtailed options that would otherwise seem joyous. I want to be a wanderer but who will sponsor my travel? I want to be painter but will I be able to make enough? The question has become more evolved – what is my true calling and how much money will make to sustain a comfortable life? I want to find my calling but I want it with my own terms and conditions.  

So there is me versus the blessed few who make their working life, the centre of their happiness. It’s actually a very ambitious belief: can you be in a job and be really happy? Or can you be happy without the drudgery of a regular job? It is a profound thought and I still haven’t been able to comprehend it.

Thus, for those who are still searching for answers, let’s start thinking about our aptitudes, open up to sources from where we derive a purpose – writing poetry, driving a go-kart, cleaning the neighbourhood, getting married or playing cricket. Or like me, try solving self assuring online quizzes like: what are you truly meant to do, find your purpose in life, what is your true calling, find your real talent etc. Hopefully that will help.

And yet, if nothing gives us an answer then may be in the end, we the nincompoops should satisfy ourselves with the answer to who am I meant to be...is the same person who keeps asking this question!