Came across a very interesting TED
Talk recently that got me thinking.
It was on Happiness.
Ok, I agree there are plenty of
such talks about inspiration, motivation, and determination all leading to how
one can be more optimistic and positive but trust me, this was different. (Or maybe I haven't seen any better. Possible)
The talk focused on how we've been conditioned to think that we can only be happy if we are successful. Or simply
put, success leads to happiness.
SUCCESS --> HAPPINESS
Well, it’s not a wrong way to
look at it. It does to some extent right?
I mean, we are successful and have
been successful not once but plenty of times in life. We've been good students,
done well academically, excelled in sports, secured great jobs and got decent
salaries year on year. So are we happy and in a perpetual state of bliss? The
answer should ideally be yes for most of us.
Well for me, I am not so sure. I
mean I am happy but occasionally. Not overall, well maybe to some extent. But
definitely haven’t hit the point of being a truly happy person in general.
Maybe because as we grow, our benchmarks
keep changing. If we've got good marks, next time we aim to get better marks. If we've got a good job, next time we aim to get a better job. If we've received a
medal in sports, next time we aim to win more medals and so on and so forth.
In short, the bar keeps rising,
which means our benchmark for happiness keeps rising. And this is what leads to
a constant feeling of ‘oh I am not sure if I am truly happy’ and a sense of dissatisfaction.
I feel it sometimes.
But what if there was a way to
change this around?
What if we didn't measure our
happiness with our success? What if we just decide to be happy? What if we
first became happy people and then that happiness is what enables us to be more successful
or satisfied in life?
HAPPINESS --> SUCCESS
Hasn't Dalai Lama been saying
this for years now?
Duh, how have I woken up to this so late?
Anyhow, better late than never. It’s
definitely worth a try and I've decided to give it a go. How I fare is subjective but
at least it’s a start.
This is my plan.
In the next 21 days I am going to
challenge myself to try and recondition my mind. It’s quite simple.
3 Gratitudes - Every day I will write
3 things I am thankful for. By counting my blessings, I am sure I can train
my brain (somewhat) to look at the positive side of things. Well, hopefully.
Journaling – Penning down your
thoughts can be quite cathartic, I do it. Sometimes publish it on the
blog, sometimes just save it and forget about it. I've been lazy but
need to do it more often, or at least attempt to. I am sure there will be a
time when I look back at what I 'd written a year ago and laugh at myself for being
silly or credit myself for being amazingly sensible.
Exercise – Yes, like most peoples
New Year resolutions, this is also mine. I think I went slightly overboard by enrolling
myself for Cross fit recently. It’s kind of extreme and I am definitely not the
most able performer but I am not giving up. So what if I suck, I am still taking
a lap while others are sitting on the couch.
Meditation – Ok this doesn't mean
you have to be in a traditional padmasana
with eyes shut and the works. Meditation is anything that I can call my ‘Zen’
moment. For me its painting and I plan to pursue it full swing. Not having enough
time is not an excuse (note to self)
Random acts of kindness – I completely believe in this. No I am not going to go on and give myself a pat
on the back for things I have done but I do believe that day to day things, in
fact even the smallest things that bring a smile on someone’s face or makes
their lives a bit easier are things anyone can do. I just need to keep at it.
So like I said before, my
challenge begins today.
I hope to achieve what I set out
to achieve and let’s see if I can be a happier person. Someone who is just
happy as a person, overall and one who doesn't succumb to success as a benchmark for their happiness. Definitely need to change that....one day at a time.
Wish me luck.
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